Sticky Families

I was walking out the door one morning to go get some work done. The kids were home from school that day - I can’t remember why - but it took a solid seven minutes just to get from one end of the house to other (which you could typically do in about 12 steps) and make it out the door due to all the hugs and kisses and one-more-hugs that I had to get from all the kids before I could leave. You’d have thought I was leaving for a month.

And then of course I finally make it to the car with all my stuff, only to realize that I had forgotten my phone - it’s always my phone. So back in I go. And, of course, we have to start all over with the hugging. No wonder I can never make it anywhere on time.

As I was leaving for the second time, Steven joked to me:

“We have a sticky family.”

That phrase, sticky family, has stuck with me and bounced around in my thoughts for weeks now - this perfect description of our family. And I love it. I love the fact that sometimes leaving takes 10 minutes, and that doesn’t even count me trying to get my mess together. Sometimes Steven walking out the door involves tears and “I’ll miss you Daddy!”s being shouted across the cul-de-sac. I love how when Steven takes the kids to school in the morning, Jesse and I stand on the porch and wave and yell “Bye!!!” at the top of our lungs until the van is a block and a half away and finally out of sight.

I love that when Steven comes home from work everybody jumps up from what they’re doing and yells, “Daddy!!!!” and runs to the door to greet him. Or if they’re all outside they rush to the driver’s door and crowd him so much that he can barely even get out. I love the days when I come home and Jesse flies across the cul-de-sac with his arms stretched out wide for me to sweep him up in a hug, and then he wraps himself into me and just holds so tight.

I love going for walks as a family and looking ahead to see Kayligrace and her brothers walking together, just talking. Sometimes their arms are slung around each other’s shoulders, and every now and then we’ll catch them holding hands. I love looking out in the yard, or into the neighbor’s yard, and seeing them all up in the same tree, or graffiti-ing the pavement with their intertwined drawings and designs.

We are a sticky family.

Now I know this all may change. My oldest is on the cusp of turning 11, and we don’t have a single child in middle school yet. But for today, this version of sticky is beautiful.

Not every day, mind you. Some days they are sticky in the ways that only brothers and sisters can drive one another crazy. Some days they are sticky in the way that makes me feel like I’m suffocating under the million-and-one needs with which only I can help them. Some days their stickiness is clingy or rebellious or irritating or I-can’t-take-another-minute-without-screaming. But even in all that, I find the ugly-beautiful.

Because sometimes it takes someone else’s stickiness to pull (ahem, should we say rip?) off the glossy sheen that is hiding the grime and crud underneath. Our stickiness can be messy, but only so much as it reveals the ugly hiding beneath. And even then, it’s the stickiness of our love that chooses to draw close again despite the mess.

Sticky can be messy. But sometimes the messy is the most delicious of all.

Now as I’ve been thinking about this idea of being a sticky family, I realized that not all families are this way. Sure, personality probably plays a part, but there are six of us in this family, and I promise we all have different personalities. No, I think more than personality, it is the daily decisions that have made us sticky.

Rather than making this the longest blog post in history in order to work through each of these daily decisions, I think I may make this a series of blog posts, describing some of the daily sticky decisions we have made to get us where we are today. In case you want to pick and choose what you dig into more fully, these are going to be my topics:

• Sticky marriage
• Sticky rest
• Sticky priorities
• Sticky discipline

And then maybe I’ll finish out the series with some thoughts on how I hope this stickiness will carry us through our next season and beyond.

In the meantime…

Lord, I pray that you would teach us to be sticky families, and sticky friends. Just as You in the Trinity are sticky, and You in your love for us are sticky, let us be sticky - both with one another and with You. Help us be brave when the stickiness of those we love reveals the ugly in us, and instead of hiding or fighting, let us step into these opportunities for grace and for growth. And help us to be patient and gentle when our stickiness reveals the ugly in another, and to show them the same measure of grace You have lavished upon us: immeasurable grace. Teach us to find the beautiful delicious in the messiness of being sticky. Amen.